Pain, Plans and The Power of Our Love

I have a good excuse...I have not been so on top of the blogging lately. And I have fallen behind on the wedding planning. I have had to take a leave of absence from grad-school. And I no longer really go out...but I have a good excuse. I have been struggeling with my health. And you know those sayings about "health being wealth" and "if you dont have your health..." and such, well it turns out your mother was right, it is that important!

For the last few months pain has become a major and unwanted part of my life. And trying to fight the horrible nerve pain in my legs (diagnosis it, deal with it, treat it, cure it) has become priority number one on the list that I share with my fiance, Ryan. The life list. Which once consisted of more balanced parts. I was working, going to school (a semester away from graduating with my Masters!), hanging out with friends and family, going on dates with my sweetheart and planning our wedding. And now things have changed. I cannot get around like I use to as my mobility is not so good and well, things take a lot longer to get to and get done than they use to because of the pain, the meds, the doctors visits, and now...the more recent operations. It all sounds so bad on paper, but really, the most important things have remained. While my life has slowed down a lot to accomodate my health, my love has grown faster and stronger than ever! Ryan is here for me each day, holding my hand, making me laugh, making my heart beat a little faster and brightening everything with the light of his love. I am struggeling right now, but I have hope and I am happy despite the pain, because that is how powerful love is I guess.

So I am still getting married this October..."come hell or high water" as the saying goes. Planning has gotten a bit slow, but Ryan and my family are helping and I know that it will be wonderful no matter what, because I get to marry my soul mate. I pray that I will be able to walk down the aisle and dance with my husband...but Ryan says "no matter what it will be perfect" and when he says this I know he feels it too -- how blessed we are that our love defies the darkness.