Pain, Plans and The Power of Our Love

I have a good excuse...I have not been so on top of the blogging lately. And I have fallen behind on the wedding planning. I have had to take a leave of absence from grad-school. And I no longer really go out...but I have a good excuse. I have been struggeling with my health. And you know those sayings about "health being wealth" and "if you dont have your health..." and such, well it turns out your mother was right, it is that important!

For the last few months pain has become a major and unwanted part of my life. And trying to fight the horrible nerve pain in my legs (diagnosis it, deal with it, treat it, cure it) has become priority number one on the list that I share with my fiance, Ryan. The life list. Which once consisted of more balanced parts. I was working, going to school (a semester away from graduating with my Masters!), hanging out with friends and family, going on dates with my sweetheart and planning our wedding. And now things have changed. I cannot get around like I use to as my mobility is not so good and well, things take a lot longer to get to and get done than they use to because of the pain, the meds, the doctors visits, and now...the more recent operations. It all sounds so bad on paper, but really, the most important things have remained. While my life has slowed down a lot to accomodate my health, my love has grown faster and stronger than ever! Ryan is here for me each day, holding my hand, making me laugh, making my heart beat a little faster and brightening everything with the light of his love. I am struggeling right now, but I have hope and I am happy despite the pain, because that is how powerful love is I guess.

So I am still getting married this October..."come hell or high water" as the saying goes. Planning has gotten a bit slow, but Ryan and my family are helping and I know that it will be wonderful no matter what, because I get to marry my soul mate. I pray that I will be able to walk down the aisle and dance with my husband...but Ryan says "no matter what it will be perfect" and when he says this I know he feels it too -- how blessed we are that our love defies the darkness.

Hello Again

It's been a long time since my last post and thats basically because I have been having a hard time with my health for a while now. As I struggle with my chronic pain, being stuck inside and constantly going to the hospital, the major thing that keeps me strong and which keeps my spirits up is my incredible fiance Ryan. He is my angel. And I know I'm probably biased because I am madly in love with him, but really, he is just so awesome! We keep eachother smiling and laughing each day even though things have been really tough for both of us and it just reminds me that no matter what may come, rain or shine, sickness or health, richer or poorer, the love that Ryan and I share is so strong that we will get through. And I think that is what makes for a great relationship and for a great marriage -- when the two of you can find hope and happiness even in the tough times.

Busy Hands...

Theme/Feel: Spanish Victorian
Setting: Autumn Evening
Colors: Navy Blue, Rust Orange, Ivory, Silver
Symbol: Love Birds

So, I have not been doing so well lately. I know there is this saying about busy hands...I don't remember quite what it is but during these past few months of poor health, I have been trying to keep busy and keep my mind off the pain so one project I have been working on (outside of trying to stay caught up as much as possible with grad school and work, which is becoming increasingly difficult unfortunately) is a couple of image boards for the wedding. A bridal mag I read a long time ago said it was a good idea to make at least one for yourself to reference (especially if you are your own wedding planner, which I am) and also to show vendors to let them know what the feel/theme of the wedding is. As the wedding gets closer I have also been asked by a lot of my bridesmaids about theme and colors and stuff so I think this is helpful for them too.

Anyway, here are a couple of boards I came up with. One for overall look and one specifically for the fashion of the wedding (I left out actual pics of me in my bridal gown so that my fiance will definetely be surprised :-) )

If you want to make an image board for your wedding and your looking for more inspiration than just my little two boards, than you should totally check out Snippet and Ink! They have tons of beautiful inspiration boards for brides who are trying to figure out what the look of thier wedding is going to be.

Strong Love

These three remain: Faith, Hope and Love...the greatest of these is LOVE!

~1Corintheans13:13

I support you. You support me. We will do it together.

My Valentine

Today...well, yesterday now, was Valentine's day. And my fiance, Ryan, and I spent a really wonderful day together!
Things have been really rough lately because of my health, but Ryan and I are able to get through this difficult time together because of our love.
No matter how tough times may be for you and your loved one, remember the gift that is your love for one another and how incredibly strong and steadfast that gift is, because it is of God. Remember this and lean on one another, be grateful to each other and to God, shnuggle, kiss, smile, laugh, be patient, compassionate, understanding and stay positive...and keep telling each other how much you love one another (trust me, you can never say or hear the words "I love you" enough)!
I give you this advice because all this has kept Ryan and I strong through this trying time with my health and it has only helped our relationship to grow stronger and has made me fall even deeper in love with my husband-to-be.
And even if you aren't going through a tough time right now, always remember how lucky you are to be in love and act accordingly, because Valentines Day may only be once a year, but your love is a constant and should be expressed all year long!

Love and...Science?

They are not opponents. Love and Science. Neither are God and Science for that matter. Although we often assume otherwise. Like two magnets that are repelling against each other, we are certain that the two just can't be combined...until someone comes by and flips one of the magnets over and the two miraculously meet. At least, thats how I think of it sometimes.

Today, God/faith and science somehow came up in conversation more than once. And then, as I was looking for images of Love to put up on this blog, I found this one which actually linked me to a Blogsite entitled "Scientific Blogging: Science 2.0" and an article called "The Chemistry of Love" for which this picture was used...and I decided to take it as a sign.

And so I make my post today about God, Love and Science.

Whenever I end up talking Science with people, I somehow always end up bringing up the fact that many great Scientists are believers in God. For example, Georges Lemaitre...whose name you have probably never heard before...was the scientist who came up with the Big Bang Theory...which I'm sure you have heard of before...and Mr Lemaitre was actually Fr. Lemaitre, a Roman Catholic Priest as well as being a professor of physics and an astronomer :-) ...pretty awesome right! For this reason, I always find it incredibly amusing when Christians argue against teaching about the Big Bang theory in schools because they think its anti-God in some way...when really the guy who came up with the theory completely believed in God and didn't think what he theorized refuted there being a God who created the universe, if anything the exact opposite is true!

Other great scientific minds who believe in God (whose names you probably recognize): Copernicus, Galileo, Descartes, Isaac Newton, Gregor Mendel, Louis Pasteur, Lord Kelvin, and Francis Collins (leader of the Human Genome Project)....to name just a few.

So what does this have to do with Love? you might ask...well I think Love and God often become thought of as opposed to Science or visa-versa because Science is always looking for proof. In Science, you make a hypothesis and then you prove it with a series of tests...the only problem is...you can't really test or prove either Love or God.

And yet, we feel Love...we feel God. We hear, see, smell, taste, feel Love when we are in the presence of our spouse, our beloved, and we do not doubt it, we know it to be true and we know God to be there in that moment. This is faith. And this is why we get married. Because there is no way you can prove to yourself or to anyone else that the commitment that you are making to be with this one person for the rest of your life is going to work out. "Soulmates" is not a scientifically proveable condition...you can't test for it like you can test for blood compatability..."oh you are AB +, well so am I so I guess we're meant to be together"...that doesn't work. You're decision to get married is a leap of faith, because even though you believe and even know in your heart that its right, that this person is "the one", there is no real way to prove it... But don't worry...we can't seem to prove the Big Bang theory either...thats why its called a "Theory" and not a Principle :-)

(P.S. do check out that article about the Chemistry of Love and the responses to it if you get a chance...I think you'll find it very interesting :-) )

HOPE

"Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the Lord"
Psalm 31:24

HOPE!!! We often forget how incredibly strong hope is. Today I think we are all reminded of the power of hope with this historic presidential inauguration of Barack Obama. Our new president reminds us that with hope and the courage to act on that hope, anything is possible! And he encourages us to continue to act with hope so that we can move toward a brighter future for this country and for the world!

It is a difficult time we are living in right now. For my fiance Ryan and I, and for many of us who are getting married during this difficult time...it is all too easy to become bogged down, worried and stressed out about the state of our future and to forget to hold steadfast onto our Hopes and Dreams for tomorrow.

But the events of today remind us that with HOPE and FAITH in a bright tomorrow as well as the ever supportive and all-powerful, unyielding LOVE of one another, we will make it through and everything will be alright...more than alright...amazing!

Today I am filled with HOPE, a HOPE that stands bold and bright and beautiful against the dreariness of yesterday and sheds light on the endless and extraordinary possibilities of tomorrow!